Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why are men and parking spaces alike?
Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
WHAT SHOULD YOU GIVE A MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
A WOMAN TO SHOW HIM HOW TO WORK IT
WHY DON'T MEN HAVE MID-LIFE CRISES?
THEY STAY STUCK IN ADOLESCENCE
HOW IS BEING AT THE SINGLES BAR DIFFERENT FROM GOING TO THE CIRCUS?
AT THE CIRCUS THE CLOWNS DON'T TALK
WHAT MAKES MEN CHASE WOMEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF MARRYING?
THE SAME URGE THAT MAKES DOGS CHASE CARS THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF DRIVING
WHY DO BACHELORS LIKE SMART WOMEN?
OPPOSITES ATTRACT
WHY ARE HUSBANDS LIKE LAWN MOWERS? THEY'RE HARD TO GET STARTED, EMIT FOUL
ODORS, AND DON'T WORK HALF THE TIME
WHY DO MEN FIND IT DIFFICULT TO MAKE EYE CONTACT?
BREASTS DON'T HAVE EYES
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
Why are blond jokes so short? So men can remember them
