Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your
call to
her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
appear in a
little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice
hustle, you'll get
'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd
worked for,
like "Heywood J'Blowme."
