This gay fellow was walking down the street, when he came across a huge guy with a hiry chest. He went up to the guy and said "Excuse me sir, uh do you mind if i ask how you got such a lovely chest? "It's easy" the bloke replied, "you just rub vasoline on it every night before you go to bed" So the gay fellow ran home to his boy friend and told him all about it, and the boyfriend replied "That can't be right, or you would have a pony tail growing out of your ass by now"
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A man walked into a bar, and he got very drunk He shouted out so that everyone could hear him, "all lawyers are arse holes!" Then a person shouted back saying that he resented what the drunken man had said. Th drunk man said, "why? Are you a lawyer". No the man replied, I'm an arse hole.
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One day they were three suicidal prostitute, they wanted to kill themselves so they decided to jump of a 50 story building. The first jumped of the building and it took the authorities 5 years to clean the mess up. The second prostitute jumped of the same building and it took the authorities 10 years to clean the mess up. The third and final prostitute jumped of the building, this time the prostitute landed on a lamppost and it took the authorities 20 years to wipe the smile off her face.
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This guy has a bad case of hemorrhoids, he decides to go see the doctor. The doctor says, It's not too bad, you just need to put these suppositories up your ass.
The doctor then says, I'll give you the first dose, then you can have your wife give you the second this evening.
The man replies, Okay.
Later that evening he is talking to his wife and tells her what the doctor said, and she said she would help. She puts one hand upon his shoulder and tells him to bend over.
All of the sudden the guy screams, Oh My God!!. What's wrong?, says the wife. The man replies, I just realized that the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders when he gave me my medicine.
