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Two winos are staggering down an alleyway, late at night, very drunk on cheap wine. Happy, arm in arm and singing, they suddenly stop dead in their tracks. Directly ahead of them is a fleabitten, old mongrel, male dog - cleaning himself. One wino staring with bloodshot, unfocused eyes and on unsteady legs at the dog, then his crotch and then back at the dog.
He says, "Wow..would I ever like to be able to do THAT!"
His friend looks at him, then the dog and then takes his drunken friend aside,
"You'd better pet him first....he looks vicious".
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