"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"Just remember... Jesus Loves You - Everyone else thinks you're a
jerk!"
"The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your
family
won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my
sister,
you cheating bastard!"
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
So
here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time, let's say we call it
quits."
