A couple went to church every week, but every week without fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon.
The wife, being embarrassed by her husband's loud snoring, decided to bring a needle to the next service with her and poke him when he nods off.
The next week when they were in church the husband, as always, fell asleep. When the preacher asked, 'Who created the Earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th?' The wife stuck her husband with the needle and he jumped up and exclaimed, 'Oh my God!' The preacher said, 'That's correct.' And the husband sat down mumbling to himself.
He soon fell asleep again and when the preacher got to the question, 'And who died on the cross to save us from eternal damnation?' The wife stuck her husband again and he jumped up and exclaimed, 'Jesus Christ!' And the preacher said, 'Right again.'
With this the husband fell suspicious of his wife and decided to catch her in the act.
The husband pretended to fall asleep while keeping an eye on his wife when the preacher said, 'What did Mary say to Joseph after Jesus was born?' The wife started to poke her husband again, but before she could the husband jumped up and exclaimed, 'If you stick that damn thing in me again, I'm going to break it in half!'
