Why Hockey Is Better Than Sex
It's legal to play hockey professionally.
The puck is always hard.
Protective equipment is reusable and you don't even have to wash it.
It lasts a full hour.
You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
Your parents cheer when you score.
A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.
Periods only last 20 minutes.
You can count on it at least twice a week.
You can tell the media about it afterwards.
